1999
Passover of the Plagues:
A Passover Haggadah
By John Kador
All say Opening Prayer
Adaonai, Our God:
We have gathered on this festive evening, in the company of those we love, to recall, retell, and relive the earliest days of our people who, from biblical days to the present, have been infused with a burning desire to achieve freedom.
We pray, as we sit here with our family and friends, for renewed spirit and inspiration. May the problems of all who struggle for freedom be our problems; may the concern of all who are afflicted be our concern; may the struggle of all who strive for dignity and equality be our struggle.
In this spirit, we now raise our cups to sanctify Thy Name in the words of the ancient Kiddush. Together we renew our thankfulness for this Pesach tradition, the Festival of Freedom, making the Exodus from Egypt.
ALL: Baruch Atah Adonai Elohenu Melech Ha-Olom,
Borei P'ri Haggofen
We praise you, Adonai our God, Ruler of the Universe, who creates the fruit of the vine.
Scene: A family traveling in a chariot.
CHILD 1 [whining]: Are we there yet?
ADULT 1 [losing patience]: No, we’re still here.
CHILD 1: Why do we have to go to dad’s dumb meeting?
ADULT 3: It’s not dumb. It’s a reunion of the plagues. Why, do you realize that when the plagues and I were first together, I could still bounce you on my lap.
CHILD 1 [under her breath]: I remember when you had a lap.
ADULT 3: I’m just saying that this will be the first time all the plagues and their families have gotten together since the first time.
CHILD 6: Don’t tell me. Will the Boils be there?
ADULT 1: Everyone will be there. The Locusts. The Beasts. The Boils. The Hails.
CHILD 1: But, mom, Hello! The Boils? Do we have to eat with them again?
ADULT 1: Well, you can eat with the Flies, if you like. Just as long as you come back to our table for the presentations.
CHILD 1: Presentations? Don’t tell me you’re going to rehash all that old stuff about Passover.
ADULT 3: I’m afraid so, honey. It was a very important time in our lives. I know you and your sister don’t like us to talk about it, but God brought us together and, well, some of the plagues are getting on. You remember Seymour Fly? We just felt, you know, we should get together before, well, you know . . .
CHILD 4: Before Seymour croaks?
ADULT 3: Look, the Plagues are my friends. They may be old enough to be my father, but they are all good, God-fearing Jewish plagues.
CHILD: Is every plague a Jewish plague?
ADULT 3: Not all. Let’s think about it. What are some plagues that are not Jewish?
ADULT 5: Restaurant strike?
ADULT 6: That’s Jewish!
ADULT 2: Out of order ATM machine?
ADULT 8: Jewish!
CHILD 7: PBS Pledge Week?
CHILD 10: The plagues are Jewish?
CHILD 8: Backed up toilets?
ALL [together]: Jewish!
ADULT 3: Well, maybe all plagues are Jewish. But can we settle down? Look, we’re pulling into the hotel.
CHILD 4: Wow! Why didn’t you say we’re staying at the Grand Pyramid? This place is, like, so totally awesome!
ADULT 1: Yes, we did have a great time here last year for the mud pit wrestling championships.
CHILD 10: It’s really very fancy.
CHILD 4 Yeah, the towels are so thick and rich and fluffy Dad could hardly close his suitcase.
Scene Grand Mudpit Hotel Ballroom
ADULT 6 [announcer’s voice] Ladies and gentlemen, would you kindly welcome, for the first time together on the same stage since the original Passover, the magnificent, the holy, the one and only, the original . . . ten plagues!!!
[Wild cheering as the Ten Plagues shuffle in. Some are really having a hard time]
ADULT 6: And, now, your host for the evening . . . Benny Darkness.
CHILD 9 [as Benny Darkness] Good evening. Welcome to the Plague convention. I’m very proud to be here with the other plagues. We didn’t always get along back in the old days, but I really love all you guys.
CHILD 4 [as Seymour Fly, interrupting]: Hey, I can feel my arteries getting brittle here. Can we cut the schmaltz and pick up the pace?
CHILD 9 : Ah! Well, at least we can count on Seymour to keep things buzzing. Well, then, let’s start the program. Are we all here? Is anything missing?
CHILD 11: Our prostrates! C’mon. Can we do this? My pacemaker is getting out of warranty as we gum this thing to death.
CHILD 9: Then without further ado let’s meet our panel in the order in which they originally appeared. Ladies and Gentlemen, please give a warm plague welcome to . . . Myron Blood.
ADULT 3 [as Myron Blood]: Hi everyone. Boy does this group need a transfusion, or what? It’s really good to be here. You know, it seems like only yesterday that meshugah Moses came to me with this crazy idea. So he says, he says to me, I want all the water in Egypt to turn into blood. I nod my head and tell him go away, won’t happen. It’s my busy season. I don’t know how he does it. Next thing I know, I’m all over the place. But before I say more, let me introduce our next plague, Nate Frog.
CHILD 8 [as Nate Frog]: Good to see everyone. You know, I really miss the old days where there were millions of us all over the place. Moses was the best thing to ever happen to Frogs. Well, let’s go to the next plague. Please welcome Didi Locusts.
CHILD 11 [as Didi Locusts]: Thanks, Nate., It was good to be there with you. Oh, the things I could tell you would make your wings stand on end. I was there through the whole thing, just like our next plague Seymour Fly.
CHILD 4 [as Seymour Fly, aggressively]: Hey, you, the guy with your mouth open. Yeah you! You just swallowed my mother-in-law. [beat] Start chewing! Just kidding. Yeah, I was there. Like a fly on the wall. But now I’m happy to introduce the next member of our panel, the distinguished plague, Hail Mary.
CHILD 12 [as Mary Hail]: That’s Mary Hail, matzah-breath. You might wonder what hail is doing in a tropical country. But let’s not get into that. I want to introduce you to my favorite plague, Wild Beasts Mendlebaum.
CHILD 9 [as Wild Beast Mendlebaum]: Listen, I can’t stay too long. I’m auditioning for the Cowardly Lion in an hour, but I did want to clear up one misconception. It was only because it was Saturday night that I was so wild. So let me turn you over to Dora Cattle Disease.
CHILD 6 [as Dora Cattle Disease]: As I look around the room, I’m reminded of the time I was with Moses as we were wandering the desert for 40 years.
"Moishe," I said. "Enough with this wandering. Did you ever consider asking for directions?" You know what he said?:
ADULT 9 [as Moses]: Let’s keep wandering for another few years. I think it’s right around the corner.
CHILD 6: But it’s not hard to find our next speaker. Just say the magic word and you get a shot of penicillin, ladies and gentlemen I give you Schlomo Boils.
ADULT 2 [as Schlomo Boils]: Thanks, Dora. You know, being a boil isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. You try to have big dreams but someone always come along and lances it. But really, folks, I’m cool. Since Moses made me make nice with everyone in Egypt, I’ve been trying to keep a low profile.
CHILD 6: You mean you’ve been on a low boil?
ADULT 2 [as Schlomo Boils]: Very funny. You’re really a very simple plague, aren’t you? How’d you like a boil big enough for its own zip code? But, you know, I heard the Jews talking about four types of plagues who must be taught the message of Passover in different ways.
ADULT 8: I heard something about that. There is the wise plague, the wicked plague, the simple plague, and the immature plague.
CHILD 11: Can I be the wise plague? I want to know meaning of all the laws and commandments. I’m keenly interested in understanding why we observe and how we observe.
CHILD 6: We answer the wise plague by teaching him all there is to know, from beginning to end, from the first lesson to the last..
CHILD 9: I’m the wicked plague. What do I get out of it? Passover may be okay for you and you and you, but it has nothing to do with me!
CHILD 8: We answer the wicked plague by reminding him that the Exodus from Egypt was a personal triumph for every individual and that we all benefit from the sacrifices the community made.
CHILD 9: I’m the simple plague. What is this, like, all about, anyway?
CHILD 4: We answer the simple plague by impressing her. Passover is awesome. Get over it!
CHILD 12: I’m the immature plague. I hardly know how to ask a question although here is much I want to know.
CHILD 1: We answer the immature plague by reassuring her that the Passover story includes everyone, including those who may not understand right now.
ADULT 2 [as Schlomo Boils]: I think there is a little of the four plagues in each of us. But, I almost forgot to introduce our final panelist, the plague of plagues—this guy slays me—please give it up for Morris, Slayer of the first Born.
ADULT 6 [as Morris, Slayer of the First Born, sadly]: I don’t know about you other plagues, but I can’t joke about my part in all this. I haven’t slept a full night since. Why Moses made me exact such a terrible punishment against innocent Egyptian children, I still don’t understand.
CHILD 9 {as Benny Darkness]: We all played a part in the Passover story, Morris. We’ve all had to come to terms with our roles. Don’t blame yourself!
ADULT 6: Why shouldn’t I blame myself? Didn’t we have choices? Mine was the worst plague of all?
ADULT 9: Was it? Did we really have a choice? I don’t recall Moses asking me my opinion.
ADULT 6: Oh, so you were just following orders? When are we going to hear that one again?
ADULT 9: Okay, so I liked spreading darkness all over the place. It was my choice, okay? At least I’m not complaining about it.
ADULT 6: Maybe you should.. Maybe there was a way to free the Jews without shedding so much blood.
ADULT 1: Maybe, but the Passover story would be incomplete without the pain of both the Jews and Egyptians.
ADULT 3: The pain creates balance that makes love and reconciliation possible.
ADULT 12: Both the Jews and the Egyptians had lessons to learn and Adonai has given us a world abundant in both pain and pleasure.
ADULT 5: We get to choose, and in that choice, unfortunately, often comes pain.
CHILD 9: What if the Passover story is not something that’s over and done with? What if it’s continuing and this conversation is part of the story?
ADULT 6: That still doesn’t help me accept the fact that to set one people free, God made me kill innocent children.
CHILD 11: I accept my role by accepting that mankind and maybe even Adonai fails to get it right the first time.
CHILD 1: Four thousand years later, we are all still struggling with the concept that no people can be free unless all people are free.
CHILD 7: It’s great to think that ten plagues are the last plagues in history. But look around. Kosovo. Northern Ireland. The Gaza. We never had a monopoly on plagues.
CHILD 4: Meaning in life comes not from the absence of plagues but by how hopeful and determined to do the right thing we can be in the face of plagues.
ADULT 8: It comes from standing up for what we believe in and defending the helpless, even when no one stands up for us.
CHILD 8: Passover is about being with friends and building community so that no one is alone.
CHILD 1: It’s true that Passover is not a completely happy story. But as the rabbis say, It’s not for us to finish the story.
ADULT 1: And neither is it for us to desist from the task.
ADULT 12: Take a look around you, Morris. Take a good look. The children of Israel, whom you helped deliver, are gathered around you. None of us would be here but for your sacrifice.
ADULT 6: Well, a lot of water has gone under the bridge. I still feel the sadness, but I feel the joy, too.
ADULT 8: Welcome to life. Welcome to the seder.
ADULT 6: You know, we plagues have been through a lot, but we have never been invited to a seder.
CHILD 6: They treat us like plagues,
CHILD 4: Maybe what we need to do is go through it all again.
CHILD 1: What, a seder?
CHILD 10: Right here?
CHILD 7: Why not? Maybe we can find a way to understand just what happened to us back there.
ADULT 1: I remember Moses had a lot of questions.
ADULT 8: How many?
CHILD 9: Four, as I recall. Does anyone remember them?
CHILD 8 [As CHILD 1]: Oh, yeah. I remember. The first question was, "On all other nights we eat bread or matzah."
CHILD 6: That’s not a question, Kermit.
CHILD 8: Oh, yeah. "On all other nights we eat bread or matzah. Why on this night do we eat only matzah?"
CHILD 9: And the second question was, "On all other nights we eat all kinds of vegetables. On this night why do we eat only maror?"
CHILD 9: Wasn’t the third question, "On all other nights we don’t have to dip our vegetables even once. On this night why do we dip them twice?"
CHILD 1: And the fourth question was, "On all other nights we eat our meals sitting any way we like. On this night, why do we lean on pillows?"
CHILD 11: I have a fifth question. "On all other nights we get to watch TV and drink beer. Why are those questions so stupid?"
ADULT 3: They’re not stupid. But maybe talking about it is not the best way to get to the answers.
CHILD 1: You mean we can go see "Prince of Egypt?"
ADULT 5: No, something even better. We can act it out. From the beginning.
CHILD 11: How do we do that?
ADULT 12: Well, there’s one thing I’ve learned about Jews. When you’re not sure, start with a blessing and then move directly to a big meal.
We kindle the candles
ALL: Baruch Atah Adonai Elohenu Melech Ha-Olom,
Asher Kidd'shonu B'mitsvosov V'tzivonu
L'hadlik Ner Shel Yom Tov.
Blessed are You, Ruler of the Heavens and the Earth, who makes us holy with mitzvot and permits us to participate with You in the act of creation.
Baruch ata adonai, eh-lo-hay-noo mel-lech ha-alom, sheh-he-chech-ya-noo ve-kee-ye-ma-noo ve-hee-gee-a-noo la-z’man ha-zeh.
Blessed are You, our Redeemer, Ruler of the Universe, who has kept us alive and who has sustained us so that we may reach this day.
ADULT 9: I think there were four glasses of wine or juice. Probably the first one came about now.
The first cup of wine
ALL: Baruch Atah Adonai Elohenu Melech Ha-Olom,
Borei P'ri Haggofen
We praise you, Adonai our God, Ruler of the Universe, who creates the fruit of the vine.
CHILD 9: Hey, Gertie, this next part is right up your alley. We have to dip a vegetable in salt water.
ALL: Baruch Atah Adonai Elohenu Melech Ha-Olom, Borei P'ri Ha Adamah
We praise you, Adonai our God, Ruler of the Universe, who creates the fruit of the earth.
All present take parsley and dip it into salt water.
CHILD 10: Why’d we do that?
CHILD 8: The parsley is a symbol of spring and renewal. That’s good.
ADULT 2: The salt water reminds us of the tears our ancestors shed in Egypt. That’s bad.
ADULT 8: You mix good and bad together and you get a seder. Get it?
CHILD 4: Got it!
ADULT 8: Good!
CHILD 4: Great!
ADULT 8: Grand!
CHILD 4: Gruesome!
ADULT 8: Grotesque!
CHILD 4: Gaga!
ADULT 5: Stop! I’m gonna ‘gurgitate. What’s the story with these crackers?
ADULT 8: That’s matzah.
From the three Matzahs, the host takes the middle piece, breaks it in two, and wraps one of the halves in a napkin. This special Matzah is called the Afikomen and will serve as the final dessert of the supper. It is customary to hide the Afikomen so that the children may search and find it at the conclusion of the meal, and receive token gifts for its return. The host holds up the remaining Matzos, and we all say:
ALL: Baruch Atah Adonai Elohenu melech ha-olom, Asher kidd'shonu b'mitsvotov v'tzivonu Al achilat matzah.
Blessed are You, Ruler of the Heavens and the Earth, who makes us holy with mitzvot and commands us to eat matzah.
ADULT 6: Are we ready to answer the four questions now?
ADULT 2: Yes, Dora, you were there. Can you start?
CHILD 6 [as Dora Cattle Disease]: This night is different from all other nights because once we were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt.
CHILD 9: How’d we get to be slaves?
CHILD 11: Well, do you remember that schlepper named Joseph? Brought his father, CHILD 11, and his family to live in Egypt.
CHILD 9: Yeah, I remember. They were the Jews? I thought they were pretty cool and got by all right.
CHILD 8: They did. For a while. But then they became slaves.
CHILD 4: Hey, wait a minute. There was this guy before Joseph. Long beard. Uneven sideburns. Babe for a wife . . .
ADULT 1: Abraham and Sarah?
CHILD 4: That’s him! Old Abe! Didn’t God promise Abe and Sarah that their children would become a great people?
ADULT 8: That’s the way I remember it.
CHILD 4: So how’d Abraham and Sarah’s children get to be miserable slaves in a miserable land?
ADULT 6: Well, here’s how I heard it: the old Pharaoh of Egypt welcomed them and the Jews prospered and multiplied. But before long, CHILD 11 died, and then Joseph died, too.
ADULT 8: Ad then later a Pharaoh that didn’t remember how the Jews helped Egypt got all upset because he feared their numbers.
ADULT 5: So the New Pharaoh enslaved the Jews and forced them to do hard labor.
CHILD 7: He forced us to build cities with bricks made from clay and straw.
ADULT 9: After many years, Pharaoh got word that a Jew had been born that would challenge his right to keep the Jews as slaves.
CHILD 1: In response, Pharaoh ordered that every baby boy born to an Israelite woman be drowned in the River Nile.
CHILD 11: One couple, Amram and Yocheved, decided to keep their baby boy alive by placing him a basket and floating the basket down the River.
CHILD 12: Their daughter, Miriam watched to see what would happen.
CHILD 6: She saw the baby discovered by Pharaoh’s daughter. Pharaoh’s daughter decided to keep him as her own. She named the baby Moses, which means "drawn from the water.’
ADULT 2: Bravely, Miriam asked the princess if she needed a nurse to help her with the baby. The princess said yes, and so it happened that Yocheved was able to care for her own son.
ADULT 2: So Moses, a Hebrew, grew up in Pharaoh’s court and then came back to defeat them?
ADULT 8: And they say God has no sense of humor!
ADULT 3: Moses grew up bright and strong, but eventually he could not ignore the suffering of the Jews.
CHILD 9: Once when he saw an Egyptian beating an Israelite slave, he could not control his anger, and he killed the Egyptian.
CHILD 4: Moses decided to leave town. He went to the land of Midian, where he became a shepherd and wrote screenplays in his spare time.
CHILD 1: You’re kidding?
CHILD 4: You’re right. Why would he want to hang around with sheep?
ADULT 12: But here comes the good part. One day, while working on the chase scene of Lethal Weapon IV, Moses saw a bush that seemed to be on fire. But it was not burning up.
CHILD 10: Cheap special effects!
CHILD 9: Maybe, but it impressed Moses, especially when Moses heard a deep voice calling him. He knew it was God.
CHILD 6: How did he know? Did he have caller ID?
CHILD 8: No!
CHILD 6: Call waiting?
CHILD 8: No!
CHILD 6: Kol Nidre?
ADULT 9: Enough. God told Moses to return to Egypt to tell Pharaoh that it was time the Jews became free. And if Pharaoh refused, something bad would happen.
ADULT 3 [eagerly]: That’s where we come in, right?
CHILD 9: Right. When Moses asked Pharaoh to free the slaves, he refused so God brought us on the Egyptians.
CHILD 12: We really frightened him, and each time he promised to free the slaves. But when each plague ended, Pharaoh did not keep his word.
CHILD 1: It was only after the last plague, the death of the firstborn of the Egyptians, that Pharaoh agreed to let the Israelites go.
CHILD 6: This is the part I like best!
ADULT 5: I like the part where all the Jews dip their fingers in the wine.
CHILD 10: Why do they do that?
CHILD 4: To remember how important the plagues are to the seder.
ADULT 12: And also to remember that happiness for one people cannot be complete when it comes at such a high cost. Remember all the pain and suffering the Egyptian people suffered because of Pharaohs evil ways? Here they spill a drop of wine from their cups as they say our names:
ALL: Dom Blood.
Tz'far-day-a Frogs.
Ki-neem Gnats.
O-rov Flies.
De-ver Cattle Disease.
Sh'cheen Boils.
Bo'rod Hail.
Arbeh Locusts.
Cho-shech. Darkness.
Ma-kas b'cho-ros. Slaying of the First Born.
CHILD 7: Hey Morrie, Slayer of the First Born, how’d you know it was an Egyptian first- born or a Jewish first-born?
ADULT 6 [as Morris]: Simple, Moses told all the Jewish families to mark their doors with lamb’s blood. If I didn’t see any blood, I’d do my thing. Like that’s how I nailed the Pharaoh’s kid. But if I did see the blood, I’d pass over the house.
ADULT 8: I get it, that’s why they call it Passover.
CHILD 4: Very good, Einstein. When Pharaoh saw that all the Egyptian sons had died, he knew he had lost. That’s when Pharaoh told the Jews to get out.
CHILD 9: You remember when Lenny Locust asked about the matzah? Well, here’s the thing. The Jews had to leave so quickly they didn’t have time to let the bread rise. So they baked it flat. Ever since, Jews eat only matzah on Passover.
CHILD 11: So it was looking pretty good for the Jews until Pharaoh changed his mind once again. He sent his solders to bring the Jews back. The Jews had a head start but soon ran into the Red Sea and they couldn’t go any further.
ADULT 9: People were getting really uptight. That’s when Moses raised his staff and a big wind from the East came and the waters of the Red Sea parted so that the Jews could cross. When the Egyptians came after them, the sea closed up and drowned all the soldiers. The Jews were free at last.
CHILD 12: Wow, what a story. And to think we plagues made it possible.
CHILD 7: Did you check out the seder plate? Those Jews love symbols. Like the bone.
ADULT 12: The roasted bone is called the Pesach. It recalls the lamb the Jews sacrificed and ate in the days of the Temple.
ADULT 1: We already talked about the matzah. That symbolizes how their ancestors had to leave Egypt in such haste that the dough for their bread did not have time to rise.
ADULT 2: There’s also bitter herbs or Maror. Jews eat this maror to remind them how bitter the Egyptians made the lives of their ancestors.
All present take horseradish and eat it on some matzah.
Time for a second cup of wine
ALL: Baruch Atah Adonai Elohenu Melech Ha-Olom,
Borei P'ri Haggofen
CHILD 10: What about the egg on the seder plate?
CHILD 9: It’s a symbol of rebirth and Spring, a time when all hope is possible.
We eat our egg
CHILD 11: But there’s more. The Jews dip twice. The first time they dipped parsley into salt water. Now they dip the bitter herb into Charoset.
CHILD 1: The first time they dipped parsley into salt, tasting the bitterness of tears and trying to erase that bitterness with the symbol of hope and spring.
CHILD 4: The second time they dipped to wipe out the bitterness of slavery with the sweetness of hard work.
All present eat sandwich of Matzoh, Charoset, Bitter Herb
ADULT 8: That sounds like a song cue if I ever heard one.
All sing Dayenu: A Song of Joy and Thanksgiving
ALL: HEBREW VERSE:
I-lu hot-zi, hot-zi
an-nu Hot-zi a-nu, mi-mitz-ray-im
Hot-zi a-nu, mi-mitz-ray-im
Di E-nu
CHORUS: Di, Di E-nu
Di, Di E-nu
Di, Di E-nu
Di E-nu, Di E-nu
We’re the plagues and
that’s our story
Don’t think you can tell it better.
If you can then see our agent
Di-E-Nu
We’re the ones that made
a movie
Called the movie Price of Egypt
If you haven’t, then go see it.
Di-E-Nu
If God brought us out of Egypt,
Brought us out of Pharaoh’s bondage,
That alone would have sufficed us
Di-E-nu
CHORUS: Di, Di E-nu
I-lu natan, nattan lanu
Nattan lanu et ha-Torah,
Nattan lanu, et ha-Torah,
Di E-nu
CHORUS: Di, Di E-nu
If God gave us all the Torah,
Gave us the Five Books of Moses
That alone would have sufficed us
Di-E-nu
CHORUS: Di, Di E-nu
I-lu natan, nattan lanu
Nattan lanu et ha-Shabbat,
nattan lanu et ha-Shabbat,
Di E-nu
CHORUS: Di, Di E-nu
If God gave us all the Sabbath,
To rest up from six day’s labor,
That alone would have sufficed us
Di-E-nu
CHORUS: Di, Di E-nu
CHILD 4: Listen can we take a break now? I need to visit the little plague’s room.
CHILD 9: Mention my name. You’ll get a good seat!
ADULT 12: Is it a good time? Good. We’ll grab a nosh and be back in twenty.
We eat the festive meal.
After the Afikoman has been found, it is passed around and we can get back to our seder.
Pour Third cup of wine and say blessing after the meal
ALL: We praise you, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the Universe, Who in goodness, mercy, and kindness gives food to the world. Your love for us endures forever. We praise You, Adonai, Who provides food for all life.
May the Holy One, Who makes peace in the Heavens, make peace for us, for Israel, and for all the world.
All raise glasses of wine and say:
Baruch Atah Adonai Elohenu Melech Ha-Olom,
Borei P'ri Haggofen
All drink!
ADULT 3: Can we have all the plagues back to the head table, please? We’re ready to move on. Are there any questions before we complete the seder?
CHILD 11: No questions. I’d just like to thank all the plagues.
ADULT 6 [as Morris, Slayer of the First Born]: Thank us? What for?
CHILD 1: We never realized what you all had to go through so that Pharaoh would see reason.
CHILD 9: Making life miserable for innocent people isn’t something that comes easy.
CHILD 9: Even to plagues.
CHILD 8: We didn’t understand what a sacrifice you made for us.
CHILD 12: We want to let you know that we will never think of Passover again without remembering the important part the plagues took.
CHILD 4: So thank you, plagues, from all the children.
CHILD 6: We will never forget you.
CHILD 10: What they said!
ADULT 6: Thank you, thank you, all. I think I speak for all the plagues when I say this has been, for us, the best Passover ever.
CHILD 7: Well, then, I think it’s time to pour a cup of wine for Elijah.
ADULT 9: Elijah? Didn’t he go on the wagon years ago?
ADULT 1: Yeah, he sure did. But the Jews pour a glass of wine for him every year and open the door and wait for him to drop by.
ADULT 3: We don’t have to the heart to tell people Elijah’s at his 12-step meetings every night.
ADULT 8: Now if they left out maybe a celery juice it would be different.
ADULT 2: As it is, the cup of wine, open door, and empty chair expresses hope in the eventual redemption of people and our deliverance from all evil.
We sing to welcome our honored guest, Elijah:
ALL Eliyahu Hanovi, Eliyahu Ha-Tishbi
Eliyahu, Eliyahu, Eliyahu, Ha-Gilodi
Bim’he-rah v’ya-mey-nu Ya-vo-ely-nu
Im ma-shee-ach ben Da-vid,
Im ma-shee-ach ben Da-vid.
Eliyahu Hanovi, Eliyahu Ha-Tishbi
Eliyahu, Eliyahu, Eliyahu, Ha-Gilodi
All raise cups for the fourth glass of wine
ALL: Baruch Atah Adonai Elohenu Melech Ha-Olom,
Borei P'ri Haggofen
All drink the fourth and last cup of wine;
ADULT 8: The seder is about to end, but the good spirit we have here will live on.
CHILD 9: I liked this seder.
CHILD 10: Let’s do it again.
ADULT 12: We will do it again and again, for so Adonai commands us. As for us plagues, we need to wait until that special time when, with God’s grace, we can have our next seder . . .
CHILD 1: . . . . Where? . . . . .
ALL: Lashanah haba’ah b’Yreushalayim!
Next year in Jerusalem!
# # #
Pesach
April 1, 1999
Nisan 15 5759
John
Kador, Author
402 Franklin Street
POB 552
Geneva, IL 60134
(630) 208-1792
fax (630) 208-1795
email